Happiness is a Choice!

This last week I had a great experience on the trail of hope. It was starting to rain and I was supposed to be playing my violin for Eliza R. Snow. I was nervous that it would be so bad I couldn't play. (recap - the Trail of hope is performed outside) And that made me sad because I knew that there was someone on the Trail who NEEDED that experience. So I prayed so hard with 100% faith that if I took out my violin it would not get wet. So. I did, and even though my body was getting wet. Not a bit of rain got on my violin. It was as if Angels were holding umbrellas over my head.  It was a miracle and testimony to me of how much these performances that we are doing are really touching those who see them.

This week we also ended up putting the "cheerleader" audition (Egg skit) together. It is so so so funny! Loved it so much! The crowd went nuts. It was great! I am so blessed just for being here in this city. The spirit is so strong and I know that my ancestors are here helping me be a light to those who come here for a testimony strengthening. 

Earlier this week I had an opportunity to walk out into the middle of the wheat field that is on parley st. I went out into the middle where I could see the temple radiating up on the bluff. I know that this is holy ground that we live on. the sacrifices that were made here made it so. My testimony is strengthened every day just by knowing that I have the choice to be happy and to be a positive influence for the other people in my life!

Choose Joy

With all the busyness of the past couple weeks we were told today that this is our last slow week coming up before things get busy! Wow! I can only imagine what its going to be like doing more in a day than we already do, but I know it will all be wonderful and I'm very excited.  We've been implementing a few changes to our shows recently which has been fun because we get to see the show get even better and I can't wait to someday see what the impacts of this work will be.  I know from stories about Nauvoo and missionary work in general that the impacts will be so much farther reaching than we can imagine which only makes it all the more important that we "serve with all our heart, might, mind, and strength, that [we] may stand blameless before God at the last day."

The BYU Folk Dancers have been here and they did a fireside for us last week about the scripture "Man is that they might have joy" and a few people gave talks and they sang some songs all centered around that theme.  This is one of my favorite scriptures personally because it tells us so much about our purpose which is to find Joy.  I think there is a difference between the Joy talked about in this verse and just simply being happy which important to note.  Joy to me has more of a lasting, or abiding sense to it as opposed to just momentary happiness. That is why even though there are times in our lives where we certainly aren't happy we can still feel of the joy that comes from our knowledge and hope that we receive from the gospel, our families, and our covenants with the Lord.  With that definition in mind our purpose is to be able to have that joy.  The talks in sacrament meeting today talked about the commandments and how the commandments are a sign of the Lord's love for us and that they are intended to bring us joy.  Some look at the commandments as restrictive, limiting the experiences, and our choices in this life.  That is a false statement because each of us has agency and the choice is forever ours to make, however eternal laws have eternal consequences that are unchanging, much like the law of gravity doesn't change just because we don't want to believe in it, if we then jump off a cliff, we will still fall.  So getting to a point now, our Heavenly Father understands what these eternal consequences are so He warns us and gives commandments so we can safely avoid those cliffs we could fall off of physically, emotionally, or spiritually, and he never takes away our agency, we always have the choice to do as we please, but if we choose to go contrary to the commandments of God, we are not free to avoid the consequences. So choose to keep the commandments, choose joy, and choose that path that leads home to Heaven where we can live with our Heavenly Father and receive a fullness of joy.

What The Lord Commands

This week, I got more violently sick than I have been in a very long time.   ....Let me tell you about it.

So, just previously, I had been worried about all the different sicknesses that were causing various sisters to drop out of performances for a day or two.  I had been reading a lot about faith and obedience, and every part of me believes that if the Lord has called you to do something, you can do it, no matter what seems to make it impossible at the moment.  I had also been feeling fairly ill, and Elder Wortley told me that if I ever wasn't feeling up to it, I could tell him, and they'd arrange to plan to perform without me.  But there was no way I could do that!  This is different from a normal theatrical production!  I have been called to be on stage and perform these shows and relay this message for Him.  I knew that no matter how nauseous I felt, I could get up there and dance, because it wasn't just my own natural strength I would rely on.  I was worried that perhaps we as a group were not getting the message strongly enough that we could push through anything to perform, because the Lord asked us to.

Well, the next day, early in the morning, I found myself puking (I won't tell you where I threw up first, it was embarrassing) in a succession of purges that just refused to stop.  I was in the bathroom at home the whole time the rest of my cast was out walking the streets doing Nauvoo Singers.  I found myself unconscious, and I awoke just in time to make it to call time for High Hopes and River Boats.  Now was my time to prove to the Lord that I really believed all those things I had been pondering the past couple days.  I honestly couldn't imagine myself on the stage, but I knew that I had been called to be there.  I was ready to step on that stage and brace myself for whatever miracle might occur.  When I got there and watched everyone preparing for the show, I just kept feeling worse and worse.  I was paling at the idea of getting up and putting my costume on.  Sister Camp came and talked with me for a little bit and told me that I needed to make a decision fast.  I decided to go pray about it.

Well, I should have done that from the beginning, because after a good ten-minute wrestle with the Lord, I got a definite commandment to go back home.  While I was confused because I felt like He had first and foremost called me to be on stage, I also knew that what He had now asked of me was to go home and rest and let the other missionaries do what they needed to do without me.  So I went home.  And I slept the rest of the day.

I have learned so much from that experience.  First of all, that I need to be in constant communication with my Heavenly Father, particularly about His desires for my day-to-day actions, even if I think that--by virtue of my set calling--I already know what He wants me to do.

But more so, I learned about Zion.  I learned that when we allow our hearts to become knit together as one (all being knit to the same heart: the Savior's), He can form us into a single unit, all working together perfectly, like a Swiss Time Piece.  The thing is, because it is directed and managed by God Himself, if a spring falls out, He manages to get a gear to do the spring's job too until the spring is back.  In a Zionistic community, we are not the same.  We will not have the same strengths or talents or knowledge, but it will not matter.  We do not have to be the same to be one.  I have learned that in the fallen world we live in today, it is necessary to say as Nephi said,

"I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which He commandeth them."

However, once we can come together as Saints of God, He is able to change the very way we work and live, and instead we can have the relief of saying,

"We will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for we know that the Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which He commandeth them."

I know that so much of the reason that Christ's "yoke is easy, and [His] burden is light" is because it is no longer a load that is lifted alone.  We all do it.  Together.

I have great faith in the Lord, and that I can rely on Him through any of my trials.  This week He has taught me that part of relying on Him is being willing to be just as reliant on His servants.

I am grateful to know that there are so many of those servants all around me.  I will do all I can every day to be one of them.

It's All Worth It

Today we had the privilege of a personal tour of the Mansion House and Red Brick store by Lachlan Mackay (the head of the Community of Christ Historical Sites) ...his knowledge of Nauvoo and the prophet Joseph were remarkable.  As a group of missionaries, we sang our two signature songs "Nauvoo" and "Invocation" in the top of the Red Brick store where the Prophet administered the first endowments and formed the Relief Society.  While the building was not the original building, I believe the Lord still finds it to be hallowed space.  Truly a tremendous experience.

We notice certain families that will follow us throughout our six daily shows.  One such family was the Knudson Family.  After the show, I started talking with the Mom...after hearing of their exhausting but entertaining week long RV ride across the US, I felt prompted to ask her what the greatest thing she has taken away while here in Nauvoo is.  She looked up at me, went silent and let out a big sigh.  She said something to the effect of, "I am so grateful I brought my kids with me. We have been so blessed that they have seen your examples.  We don't really know what our son is thinking when it comes to a mission and for him to see this side of the missionary work has been a blessing."  I was put back by her comment---we've been working so hard to make these shows and vignettes have meaning and to hear that they have had that kind of impact--makes it all worth it.

Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

I can't believe that its already been another week.  Sister Camp told us the count down to our last day today during preparation meeting and I was very upset.  I don't want this opportunity to end!  It truly has been such an amazing thing and I count my blessings every day to think that I could be here and receive all the blessings I have since coming here.  I've also had my eyes opened to a lot of the blessings that I had in my life before I came here.  I definitely count my family, my friends, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ among the highest of those blessings.

My sister is probably going to be extremely jealous because one of our guests was her best friend Hanna's mom! It was really neat to meet her for the first time and wonder what the odds were of such a meeting seeing as they now live across the country from us and just happened to be visiting in Nauvoo.  She came up to me and told me I looked familiar and asked if I knew her son which I had known who he was from high school, but then looking at my name tag she made the connection to my sister and got really excited.  Its amazing to see how the Lord blesses us to cross paths like that and just goes to show that even though this was a friendly crossing, who knows what people will be placed in our paths here that we are meant to touch, uplift, and inspire.  We probably won't know in this life, but its still such a privilege to know that we are instruments in his hands planting seeds in the hearts of many.  I know that none of it goes to waste.  How could it when you consider the worth of souls.  Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 reads "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God."  the section goes on later saying "If it so be that you should labor all of your days in crying repentance of this people and bring save it should be one soul unto me how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my father."  This shows that the Lord loves each of us so much and we can know that He wants us to be happy.  I have a firm belief that if just a single one of God's children would have accepted the Atonement of Jesus Christ He still would have gone through with it.  And I wouldn't be surprised if He would have gone through with it, even if none of us accepted it, because He loves us all so deeply He wouldn't be content unless He gave us EVERY opportunity.  Its miraculous and I know its true. So wherever you are, whatever you're doing, whatever you've done in your life, however low you might feel,  He LOVES YOU. He loves you completely and so deeply we can't fully comprehend it.  Its a miracle in the latter-days and I know it is true. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

When You Come To Nauvoo

Let me tell you a little bit about the unique traits of Nauvoo.

This is a city where thousands of people of all different creeds and histories have come through at some point seeking refuge from persecution and filled with a hope for a better life.  This had-been swamp is a thriving little town...with a very different feel about it.  A feeling of security.  A feeling that you have jumped out of the normal hustle and bustle of life.  A feeling a friendship.  A feeling that you can restore lost hopes and plans you've had before.  A feeling a peace.

In the part of Nauvoo that we experience most (that owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), there are many reasons for this feeling.  An untold number of miracles have happened in this spot.  This town was built up specifically so the Saints of the Lord could worship Him and learn all that He desired of them and for them.  Every building was built with the intent of serving Christ!  The people here gave everything they had...everything....to establish His Church on the earth again.  They gave no thought for themselves save it were the essential elements that kept them moving and breathing.  Everything else was outward, for their fellow man and for God.  This became a sacred escape from sin...almost a temple made up of a town.  And then, shortly after their proper (and glorious) temple was erected, the prophet given them of God was murdered, and they were driven west, across the entire country, outside the U.S. boundaries, on foot, with handcarts to carry what little they could.  And they did it willingly, because they knew it was a necessary sacrifice for the building up of Christ's Kingdom.

But the past can only transform the feeling of a piece of land so much.

Today, this stretch of historical ground is filled with hundreds of missionaries.  Men and women (almost every one of them senior citizens) that have had hands laid upon their head setting them apart for the service of God in spreading the good news of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in any way they are able.  Hundreds of people here who have dedicated their lives to their Heavenly Father, who understand the blessings and power of obedience and faith and charity and hope and virtue and prayer and the word of God.  Their every action is to draw others closer to Christ.  With that kind of powerful living happening in such a great concentration in this city, it is enshrouded with the Spirit.  We live within what the scriptures often refer to as a "cloud of light."  It is generated by sacrifice and willingness to love God more than oneself.

So, I must warn you:

Do not come to Nauvoo as a tourist.  This is a hard task I charge you with, because that is exactly what this place is set up for.  There are tours you will take, histories you will learn, shows to see, and pamphlets to steal.  We are designed to take in tourists.  But I have learned as I have stayed here that tourists only get about 30% of what is available here, if that.

This city is a sanctuary for the Holy Ghost.  The glass we look through darkly, as Paul describes our experience on earth, is not so dark in Nauvoo.  If there was ever a place you could go to catch a glimpse of a vision the Lord has for you that you cannot now see, it is here.  Rather than walking into our historic sites as a tourist, walk in as a student of Christ.  Rather than coming to learn history and see artifacts, come to learn spiritual truths and see the ministering of angels.  I would strongly encourage you to fast and pray before approaching your visit here.  Ask for guidance, strength, and miracles for yourself and for your family.  You will find it here.  I promise you that there are doctrinal gems that the Spirit can teach you personally, if you will seek them.

As young performing missionaries, our performances are not merely for entertainment, and our songs are not merely to impress.  We are here to testify boldly and clearly that Jesus is the Christ, and that in Him we can find joy.  We are here to proclaim to all who will listen that there is a living oracle on the earth today that receives revelation for the entire world directly from God, and his name is Thomas S. Monson.  We declare with every dance step that in the Book of Mormon are the true and living words of our Savior, that will fill anyone who reads it with more life than they have ever lived.

We will do everything we can to prick the hearts of the tourists....but please, don't you be one of them.

Not Even a Cough

On Friday night there were approximately 400 people lined up to come through the Trail of Hope. It had been a very long day of performances and my voice was giving out from the bronchitis. I was terrified because it was the night I needed to sing a hymn as Elisa Leavitt. I said a prayer with Sister Porter who was playing my mother that night, Sarah Leavitt. As we knelt in prayer and asked for the help from the Lord that I needed pretty badly that night especially... we felt peace and knew that it would be alright. I was having a cough attack, my ears and eyes were itching from allergies, and I was sneezing like a banchee. However, each time a group would come through I would clear my throat to sing and the hoarseness of my voice would disappear and just when I thought I needed to cough or sneeze, I wouldn't. Gosh... it was a miracle. Truly! Immediately after we would finish singing and the group would move along to the next vignette I would have another cough attack and blow my lungs out haha. What a tender mercy from the Lord. The enabling power of the Atonement is truly amazing... I cannot thank my Lord and Savior enough for allowing me to bear my testimony that night without sickness affecting my message. This work is much too important... the messages of the Saints touch people's souls in a very special way here. Sickness or no sickness, the Lord will always find a way to spread his love and Gospel. It's amazing to see how much the work is growing today in the church.