Catching Fireflies

July 4th is my favorite holiday. I love the festivities, parades & fireworks, barbecues, and all sorts of laughter that happens. But most of all, I love it because it is a holiday that you can spend outside in the beautiful sunshine with everyone. I was so grateful to spend the day with my Nauvoo family and sing, dance, laugh, and eat delicious hamburgers (shout out to the Meyers!). My favorite moment of the day was when we gathered around a tall oak tree on Main St. to practice Youth Of Zion. Twilight was settling in, you could hear the distant thunder of fireworks, and the fireflies were resplendent. Because I'm not in YOZ, I got to have a free moment where I could soak in the beauty of Nauvoo and the splendors of a special day. Sister Jorgensen and I let loose and ran through a small grove of trees and caught fireflies in our hands. That short time of freedom and innocent laughter brought me happiness I cannot describe. So often do we forget to be simple, and just enjoy life! Even in the Nauvoo bubble where missionaries wear pioneer clothes we can get caught up in a hectic schedule and forget to breathe in our surroundings and love life. This was taken out of a journal entry on June 17:

Oh how beautiful, the glory of God. We witnessed His love for us in the form of the most stunning sunset I have ever laid eyes on. The majesty that was painted around Nauvoo testified of the glory and power of our Lord. As I beheld my surroundings and the beautiful, colorful canvas that filled the sky, I felt of the love the Lord has for me...I had been searching to find peace, but didn't realize I was blessed with the ability to find the beauty in all things and feel of Gods love that way. I've spent so much of my time walking with my head down. Instead of worrying about not tripping over my feet, I need to look up and feel the love.

This week, as our schedule gets absolutely crazy, my goal is to find peace in my beautiful surroundings. What better way is there to recognize the love of God than to soak in the beauty of His creations.

You Are My Sunshine

I feel somewhat left out that I didn't receive any emails this week, but it makes sense because my family is here with me. And how blessed that is! But because I have the time, I will tell you all that has happened in the past while. Our dear Sister Allen is being sent home. After many prayers and blessings and discussions, our directors and the mission president feel that it is best for Sister Allen to receive the medical attention she needs, at home. I've gotten to know Sister Allen quite well- we share a room and is my counterpart in all the shows. I don't think the reality of her leaving has settled in yet, which terrifies me because some of us (myself included) were a total mess when she announced it just 2 hours ago. We had a moment of hugging and crying and then we all gathered on the stage in a circle and sang 'Invocation'. Sister Allen had one request- that we sing 'You Are My Sunshine'. We have a fun rendition we sing in Nauvoo Singers, and it is kind of a running joke because at least our cast sings it at least 5 times every day. It's our go-to song. How beautiful it was to sing to each other the words that now carry so much meaning for our group:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you,

Please don't take my sunshine away

You're my ever-lovin' sunshine, you're the one for me!

You make me happy oh so happy when skies are gray and by the way

You'll never know how much I love you, how much I love you everyday,

please don't take my sunshine away

Sister Allen requested that we have a testimony meeting. It was wonderful to hear the beautiful and strong testimonies of everyone in this group. We are so strong in the faith. We know that Heavenly Father lives and loves us. I know that faith brings us peace and comfort. I know that as we have faith in the Lords timing and plan for us, we will be able to do whatever he asks of us, even when we are weak. I know that we are here for a purpose, and I am so grateful Sister Allen was to be with us for a short time. We have learned so much from her. Most importantly, how to be selfless.

As our group loses a beloved friend, our sunshine, and our source of laughter, we face an unknown future. The schedule is only about to become harder with pageant here. New parts are to be learned, and dances are to be re-choreographed. But if there's one thing I've learned about this special group of YPMs is that we have the ability to accept change wholeheartedly. A moment is never spent complaining about our circumstances, whatever they may be. When we unite ourselves with each other and with the Lord, we are steadfast, immovable, and fine tuned instruments in the Lords hands. I am not afraid, because this is the Lords work. And He is in charge. And His timing and plan for us is perfect.

We'll find the place, which God for us prepared

far away, in the West.

Where none shall come, to hurt or make afraid,

there the Saints will be blessed.

But if our lives are spared again, 

to see the Saints, our rest obtain,

oh how we'll make this chorus swell,

All is well! All is well!

Nauvoo Miracle

This week in Nauvoo I have seen and felt the angels. I say these things with a surety in my heart that I know they are true. I have been very ill with bronchitis that has disabled me from singing or talking very much and my head has been so congested that my hearing has been diluted. As I was singing as Eliza R. Snow this week in Trail of Hope, I could feel the strength of the Lord helping me to get through each song without coughing. As I was singing to a particular group of youth, my voice stopped working. I knew immediately that I had to stop or else I would suffocate in a heap of coughing. In that split second I pleaded to the Lord to strengthen me, and specifically for the strength of Eliza R. Snow to be with me so I could finish singing. Miraculously I continued singing with no interruption. And then I heard something in my right ear. It sounded like the buzz of a bug, and I thought it was my ears playing funny tricks on me because of my congestion. But I paid attention and I could hear a voice, singing a beautiful harmony along side me. My voice became stronger and clearer than it had ever been before. I know it was Eliza R. Snow singing beside me. I heard the angels again as we sang the finale in our show "High Hopes and Riverboats". When we all join in together and sing 'All is well, all is well.' I could hear a faint chorus singing alongside us, and I could feel the presence of the saints. I heard it again the next day as we sang Invocation on the balcony. I know that we are here to do a marvelous work, and that the Lord sends his angels, the saints, to aid us. 

More Than Performing

Nauvoo has always had a special place in my heart. I’ve visited ever since I was young, and always knew it was sacred ground. The spirit is so strong, and the atmosphere is filled with the testimonies of saints that sacrificed so much for the church. I always knew I wanted to be a performing missionary in Nauvoo. My sisters did it, my friends did it, and every summer I longed to be on the stage with them. But little did I realize that it’s so much more than singing and dancing: you are being a musical instrument in the hands of the Lord, to bear your testimony of His gospel, and be a witness of His glorious work. I am so humbled to be able to perform for the Lord this summer, and bring joy to those who visit. I feel like I have been given my talents for this purpose- to serve. As soon as I accepted the calling to be a YPM I felt the Lord do His work in my life. Confusions I had about my future were cleared and sorted out, and I had so much joy and peace. It’s amazing what happens when you put your complete faith in the Savior… everything works! It’s hard and confusing at times, but when you know you’re doing exactly what the Lord wants you to do, it all comes together and makes sense. I am overjoyed, and cannot wait to serve with amazingly talented and spiritual folks this summer. I love Nauvoo, I love music, and I love the Lord and His gospel. Here’s to dancing with the mayflies!!