All My Love

I can't believe time is winding down so fast!!  We have one more week of the Nauvoo Pageant, and then one more week of our other shows after that...and then we are finished.  I cried again yesterday as I said goodbye to another family from the family cast at Pageant.  Every week has a new set of families, and every Saturday we say goodbye.  Little Avey Shulz tugged on my pants as I was walking away and said "I'm really going to miss you, Elder Partridge."

Gosh, love is hard stuff.

Speaking of love, I have received a new insight.  With this group becoming as close as we are, the mission rules can sometimes be looked at as a burden or an annoyance rather than a blessing to keep.  We all just want to hug each other and play games and have parties and stay up late!  It has been hard sometimes to stay focused on the Now and not start planning all the fun things we will do when we get home.  I've been praying to have a greater understanding of the doctrines of why God gives us different lifestyles to live for different lengths of time...rather than just giving all of us the same laws and expectations all the time. Missionaries, Bishops, Young Men's Presidents, Apostles...they all abide by slightly different rules and regulations.  Why?

I am beginning to understand one of the reasons for being obedient to such laws that seem so temporal.  In this mission, a lot of the mission rules just seem to be ways to inhibit us from showing our love and appreciation for each other the ways that we are accustomed to doing.  I have come to understand that in not being able to sit alone with a sister or to pick up little children, the Lord has caused me to find new and creative ways within my capacity, to act on the charity I am filled with for the people around me.  I believe that with every new lifestyle we are asked to live for a period of time, comes an opportunity to learn new ways to love...and that our Heavenly Father will continue to call us to new lifestyles until we have eventually learned all the ways to love...and have perfect charity!  Each time we choose not to be obedient to those laws that He gives us, we forfeit an opportunity to become more diversely charitable.

I am grateful for all the ways that God has expanded my ability to love while I have been here in Nauvoo.  He has helped my spirit to grow and contain more than I ever have been able to before.  I cannot wait to see how the new chapters in my life will help me to express the love that I so often feel is building up inside me, but is too great to be effectively expressed.  I know one day, I will be able to express all the love within my heart, with the help of my God.